Twist in the road…

It seems that life just keeps throwing things our way and expects us to know how to deal with it. It was not even a week ago that I was struggling, terrified and unemployed, when around the corner a job offer lands in my lap. I see a door open right before my eyes only to realize another one is closing. Here it is…more….CHANGE. Instantly, I want to flee to a corner and hide, but doesn’t everybody? I am a counselor, use to change, I thrive on it, and I love it. I also absolutely hate it! I moved to southern Virginia when Mia was just fourth months old. Although, I never verbalized it to my family and friends at that time, I was in a horrible depression. I was in love with my daughter and devastated at the loss of my small family at the same time. My once outgoing and always talkative and active personality was gone. I ignored my phone, isolated myself and lived in my own private pity party for months. Of course, on the outside all anyone saw was me working, making baby food and kicking butt at the mom job. It’s funny how things aren’t always what they seem. 

It wasn’t until I met some amazing women, who were also single mothers that I even started to pull out of this funk. I began to be a mom again and stopped staring at the television in hopes that a perfect life would pop out right into my living room. I got dressed, put on makeup and smiled. It was wonderful. For the first time I felt strong, independent and driven to be the best person, mom, friend and employee I could be. This didn’t happen everyday but the days it did have been the best. On the days that didn’t, these new amazing moms I met were right by my side supporting me, encouraging me and cheering me up. Of all the friendships I have had over the years, never have I cherished any so much as these. Single motherhood is the best and the worst of times. It can be so challenging that sometimes it’s a struggle to even see the rewards. Having someone by your side to remind you that it’s okay and give you a boost is a miracle at times. I only wish that I have been able to return the favor. 

Now, I have to pack up my new independent life and return to a place I literally ran from. I have to leave people who mean the world to me, a countryside home I adore and small town life I so wanted to have. I am terrified to take a new step, a new job and venture towards an area that brought me so much pain.  Where would I be though if I didn’t take new steps and accept challenges? Whether you’re a single mom or not taking chances is how we learn, move forward and change. I have grown so much as a person and a mom in just the short time I lived in this area and I am forever grateful for it. I believe that I am stronger and more confident as a single mother than I ever was or would have been had I not come here. Its time to make the best decision I can to give my daughter the best life that she could possibly have. It won’t always be easy but it certainly isn’t impossible. I hope this new opportunity turns into a wonderful adventure for us and that I make good choices and bad and continue to learn and grow. 

To my moms, you know who you are, Thank you. Thank you for making me a stronger person, helping me move forward, listening to difficulties and giving wonderful advice. It’s amazing how much can be done while drinking wine. You all are truly wonderful, inspiring, strong independent mommas and I am so grateful to have you in my life. So, this isn’t good bye, this is more like Bon Voyage, because I’ll see you on my next trip.