Once
long ago (long being back when I was 16) I was given some infinite wisdom and
despite my red headed, stubborn, teen angst personality at that time it stuck
with me. It was simply this, the words "I'm a Woman of Value" written
in my journal and later up on my mirror with lipstick. I was told to repeat it,
believe it, and write about it at a time when I felt far less miserable about
myself than I may ever have. I kept this motto with me for years and it kept me
strong until, somewhere around college I seemed to forget it again, it was
always in the back of my mind but not up front where it should be. Over the
weekend as I nervously prepared for my second mothers day as a single mom, cleaned
house and prepared myself for a job that I feel I am failing at I remembered
this lovely piece of advice. It reminded me that we cannot function at our best
or be our best as mothers, employees, students, peers, friends or anything else
in life unless we have faith and confidence in ourselves.
With
my head held high I returned to work yesterday with this thought in my mind and
felt like I had a wonderful day. That is until a dreaded email came that
evening that was passive aggressive in nature and sent me right back to the
bottom again. Woe is me, fill up my pity cup I am done I thought. I was so
frustrated and low that I had every bit of nerve ready to quit my job. However,
I woke up at 6am and spent the next hour analyzing the situation until I realized,
I was not at fault, I was a good counselor, a good employee and in fact a Woman
of Value! I will save the nitty gritty of the rest of the day, and just report
it wasn't the best day but it was much better than I thought it would be.
It is so important that whether we are single mothers, co-parents, or even just
ourselves alone that we have to take care of ourselves and believe in ourselves
first. I know, if your anything like me your shaking your head right now and
thinking of how difficult it is to find 15 free minutes in the day to
"take care of yourself" with a child, a career, a house to clean,
food to cook, pets to feed etc. Trust me, I think this everyday. But, the
difference I feel between giving in laying in bed and not taking those five,
ten or 15 minutes to myself is a life changer for me in my career and in my
home life. As a counselor, I preach self care everyday but rarely do I take my
own advice. It is high time this changes. What kind of counselor am I if I
don't practice what I preach? I am challenging my self to look in the mirror,
tell myself I am a woman of value and take some time to make it so.
I want to
challenge you to do the same. Take some time and make a list of all the things
you do for yourself on a weekly basis. Now break it down to daily. On the other
side make a list of all the things you do in a week and day that you do for
everyone else. Next step.....rip it up! Its invigorating. Now, I am not saying
forgo your motherly duties, buy a new outfit and go shake your butt at the local
club, because we all know how that will turn out (put down the glitter MILF
necklace). What I am saying is take at least 15 minutes out of your day for yourself. Start with small goals and than move up. Make a list of things you would like to do for yourself and
prioritize. Mine are as follows:
1.
Exercise daily --- Goal: at least 3 x a week (by starting small you won't get overwhelmed)
2.
Meditate --- Goal : attend meditation once
In
order to achieve these goals one plan I am working on is a membership for myself and Mia to the YMCA. This way I can
take care of myself physically and mentally and spend quality time with her there as well. Mentally I am going to remind
myself everyday that I am a Woman of Value and that I can do whatever I set my
mind too. It sends me to work with a better mood, I am happier when I get home
and in the end I am a better mother when I do this. It is so important for us all to get in the habit of doing things to support ourselves. As mothers we spend so much time caring for others and its tiring. I do this not only at home but in my job as well, so by the time I do get home, I am frustrated and tired and crabby. We should all take a minute to remind ourselves of who we really are and where we want to be. You can't care for others properly if you don't care for yourself first.
